Some things just don’t add up

Math isn’t my thing. I’m more of a words guy. But I’m pretty good at simple arithmetic. I can add 2 and 2 just as well as the next guy. But some things just don’t add up.

Who does Rob Ford think he is, anyway? The mayor of Toronto admitted to smoking crack. He also admitting to buying drugs in the last two years. But does he resign in disgrace? Of course not. While many in Canada have suggested he go to rehab, he said “no, no, no.” Instead he’s going to run for re-election.

The vast majority of Torontonians — 72 per cent, in fact — call Ford's insistence on remaining in office after he admitted to smoking crack cocaine "not acceptable," according to a new Ipsos poll. Of course the only poll that counts is the one on election day. But still.

Does Ford think he’s the mayor of an American city? Say, Washington D.C.? It’s been said that only Nixon could go to China and only Marion Barry could smoke crack and get re-elected. Of course, Barry had a valid excuse. B**** set him up. It’s worth noting that America’s most famous crack-smoking mayor still serves on the D.C. city council.

Does Ford think he’s Charlie Sheen? The movie and TV star admitted in 2011 to smoking crack. While his crazy antics lost him his “men card,” he didn’t lose a step career-wise and actually picked up a lot of new followers through the ordeal. I rather imagine that Rob Ford hopes to be “winning” in the near future. Oddly, I note that Sheen tweeted something of a love note to Ford on Thursday (http://tinyurl.com/n93w95j) apologizing for the media portrayal of the mayor.

Really, I have no idea what’s going on up in Canada but it sure is fun to watch. Honestly it’s just fun to watch another country look stupid for a change.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that the U.S. of A. has gotten out of its own way. In fact, Obamacare is a number crunches dream — or nightmare, depending on whether you crunch your numbers from the right or the left.

According to an Avalere Health report released Thursday, a whopping 3 percent of those expected to have signed up for the Affordable Care Act exchanges have done so. In New York, it’s a mere 2 percent.

For all the effort the Republicans have put into thwarting Obamacare, they could have simply let it self destruct on its own. It reminds me of H.G. Wells’ “War of the Worlds.” The world’s armies have no effect whatsoever on the invading aliens and their superior technology. But a simple cold? Humanity-1, aliens-0.

As I’ve stated before, I admire the theory behind Obamacare. I believe that we have every right to be healthy. But the implementation by this president has been horrific. And his “out-of-touch-ness” seems to radiate from everything he’s “involved in” lately. His motto should be “I didn’t know that” as he seems to be out of every loop in the beltway and beyond.

But hey, we only have three more years to deal with Obama and then we’ll have a new president who might actually make some headway on health care — like she tried to do 20 years ago. Unless she’s attacked by aliens before that. Or becomes friends with Rob Ford. But that wouldn’t add up, now would it?

Scott Leffler occasionally name drops in his columns for search engine optimization. Play Station 4, Iran, Andy Kaufman. Follow him on Twitter @scottleffler.

Railing on rails ... and more

This is one of those weeks where there's a lot going on in my head, but only one column to get it all out there. As such, I present to you a semi-random stream of consciousness.

I suppose I should say something about the election last week. It went exactly as I expected. Cuomo trounced Paladino. The Republicans crushed the Democrats in Congress. And I voted for two winners.

Okay, so I wasn't sure I'd vote for any winners, but sometimes you get lucky, right?

Although the thought of having another Cuomo in office frightens me, I was impressed by the governor-elect's acceptance speech. Let's hope he can really do some good because we're stuck with him for a while unless he ends up being "Client 10."

I'm looking forward to having a leiutenant governor from Western New York. Hopefully Robert Duffy can remind Cuomo that we exist occasionally.

I know Rochester isn't technically Western New York, but, come on. It is.

I like the city of Rochester. I don't go there as often as I'd like to. Maybe if we had a better transportation system, I would.

Maybe if we get some of the $1.2 billion in high-speed rail funding that Ohio and Wisconsin have opted out of, we can improve that transportation system and I can go to Rochester.

Last week, the governors-elect of those states said they didn't want the funding that had been planned to go to their states and Congresswoman Louise Slaughter offered to take it off their hands.

I've been a fan of the concept of high-speed rail since before it was a national discussion. Other places have it. Why can't we?

The thought of being able to hop a train and be to New York City in a few hours is quite compelling, don't you think? Our current train system takes approximately four years (only a slight exaggeration) to get from here to there. Seriously, though, it's faster to take a bus.
That just doesn't seem right.

I've seen the proposed map for high-speed rail. It goes from New York to Niagara Falls and then up to Toronto. This will make it easier for Jets fan to commute to Bills games and root against the "home team."

The Bills game on Sunday was disheartening. Of course, the loss was sad, but not unexpected. The bigger disappointment was the number of Bears fans in attendance. Or maybe they weren't Bears fans. Maybe they were just Bills detractors.

It seems like every game that's been played in Toronto has had just as many (if not more) people rooting against the Bills as rooting for them. To call it a home game is a joke.

Not that this year's Bills had much of a chance, but it is a little frustrating that every other team in the league has eight home games and eight away games. Ours, meanwhile, has seven home games and nine away games. It's like the 2005 Saints, except instead of a natural disaster forcing the team out, it's the economy.

Maybe Cuomo can fix the economy. If for no other reason than to stop the Bills from having to play in Toronto any more.

G20 thoughts ...

The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.” —Anonymous.

“The squeaky wheel gets the oil. But you catch more flies with honey.” — Anonymous

“The anarchist at the G20 summit gets the attention. But the peaceful protesters get new bike lanes.” — Scott Leffler

I doubt my quote will ever stack up to the other two, but it's just as true. And timely, I might add.

I watched with great interest this weekend as the city of Toronto hosted the G20 summit amidst great fanfare and a billion dollars worth of security. That's not a typo. That's billion. The majority of the world's wealthiest nations seemed to agree that everyone should pay down their debt. President Obama, meanwhile, pushed for “stimulus.” In other words, more spending. I really can't say I'm surprised, can you?

But economic policy bores me and I certainly wasn't riveted by a debate between debt reduction and stimulus spending. No, it was what was happening outside the summit itself that I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of.

For some reason, whenever you gather a bunch of world leaders together, a throng of protesters gathers nearby. This was the case in Toronto where the city had been bracing for weeks for the idiocy that comes with hosting the G20 summit.

If idiocy is what they were expecting, they surely weren't disappointed. There were, of course, peaceful protests throughout the city. People marched, wore funny masks, held hands and sang Kumbaya. They sought economic equality, better health care, paved roads in Africa and all sorts of other things.

And then there was the violent faction of protesters who threw Molotov cocktails through storefronts, fought with police and torched vehicles. They sought anarchy, violence and attention. On one hand, you could say the anarchists won. They got plenty of attention. The news covered them with great vigor, and people who were paying attention — like myself — read every word of it, entranced by the horror.

But there was a particular group of protesters that also got a lot of attention due to the simplicity of their message and the means in which they carried it out. A group of bicyclists — at one point led by Toronto's finest — peddled through the city. It was their means of saying that Toronto didn't have enough bike lanes. It was peaceful and had nothing to do with the economic conditions of Third World countries.

I'm betting in the long run, their plea will be heard and their victory will be much greater than that of the anarchists. I mean, anarchy might be entertaining, but it certainly isn't good for the environment … and cannot get you to work on time. To paraphrase the quotes leading into this column, “the squeaky wheel might get the oil, but the bicycle tire gets new bike paths because the squeaky wheel ended up getting set afire by a bunch of idiots.”

The G20 summit, by the way, didn't get as much attention around here as I thought it should have, ironically because everyone seemed to be too busy paying attention to soccer. I like soccer. It's a fine sport. But I'm pretty sure that Americans paying attention to soccer is one of the signs of the apocalypse. So paying down the debt may be unnecessary.