Some things just don’t add up

Math isn’t my thing. I’m more of a words guy. But I’m pretty good at simple arithmetic. I can add 2 and 2 just as well as the next guy. But some things just don’t add up.

Who does Rob Ford think he is, anyway? The mayor of Toronto admitted to smoking crack. He also admitting to buying drugs in the last two years. But does he resign in disgrace? Of course not. While many in Canada have suggested he go to rehab, he said “no, no, no.” Instead he’s going to run for re-election.

The vast majority of Torontonians — 72 per cent, in fact — call Ford's insistence on remaining in office after he admitted to smoking crack cocaine "not acceptable," according to a new Ipsos poll. Of course the only poll that counts is the one on election day. But still.

Does Ford think he’s the mayor of an American city? Say, Washington D.C.? It’s been said that only Nixon could go to China and only Marion Barry could smoke crack and get re-elected. Of course, Barry had a valid excuse. B**** set him up. It’s worth noting that America’s most famous crack-smoking mayor still serves on the D.C. city council.

Does Ford think he’s Charlie Sheen? The movie and TV star admitted in 2011 to smoking crack. While his crazy antics lost him his “men card,” he didn’t lose a step career-wise and actually picked up a lot of new followers through the ordeal. I rather imagine that Rob Ford hopes to be “winning” in the near future. Oddly, I note that Sheen tweeted something of a love note to Ford on Thursday (http://tinyurl.com/n93w95j) apologizing for the media portrayal of the mayor.

Really, I have no idea what’s going on up in Canada but it sure is fun to watch. Honestly it’s just fun to watch another country look stupid for a change.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that the U.S. of A. has gotten out of its own way. In fact, Obamacare is a number crunches dream — or nightmare, depending on whether you crunch your numbers from the right or the left.

According to an Avalere Health report released Thursday, a whopping 3 percent of those expected to have signed up for the Affordable Care Act exchanges have done so. In New York, it’s a mere 2 percent.

For all the effort the Republicans have put into thwarting Obamacare, they could have simply let it self destruct on its own. It reminds me of H.G. Wells’ “War of the Worlds.” The world’s armies have no effect whatsoever on the invading aliens and their superior technology. But a simple cold? Humanity-1, aliens-0.

As I’ve stated before, I admire the theory behind Obamacare. I believe that we have every right to be healthy. But the implementation by this president has been horrific. And his “out-of-touch-ness” seems to radiate from everything he’s “involved in” lately. His motto should be “I didn’t know that” as he seems to be out of every loop in the beltway and beyond.

But hey, we only have three more years to deal with Obama and then we’ll have a new president who might actually make some headway on health care — like she tried to do 20 years ago. Unless she’s attacked by aliens before that. Or becomes friends with Rob Ford. But that wouldn’t add up, now would it?

Scott Leffler occasionally name drops in his columns for search engine optimization. Play Station 4, Iran, Andy Kaufman. Follow him on Twitter @scottleffler.

Portman announcement braver than Clinton’s

Last week’s column on gay marriage — particularly on Hillary Clinton’s relatively late-to-the-party support of gay marriage — got a lot of feedback.

Not only has there been a lot of feedback on the column itself, there’s been a lot of news on the topic in the last week. And there seems to have been a lot of news on the topic every week for the last … forever.

As I write this column, gay marriage is the top news story on my Google News feed. There are stories about the Supreme Court, Justice Antonin Scalia, the state of Ohio, Starbucks, and a variety of pols who have recently come out in favor of gay marriage.

Over the weekend, former GOP poster boy and brain Karl Rove said he imagines that the Republican nominee for president in 2016 could be someone that supports gay marriage, simply as a sign that the pendulum is swinging in that direction.

As I mentioned last week, 58 percent of Americans have recently voiced support for same-sex marriage. That means that some self-described Republicans must be in that crowd. One such self-described Republican is Ohio Congressman Robert Portman, who recently changed his tune — very publicly — on the topic of same-sex marriage, largely due to the fact that his 21-year-old son is gay.

Some have said that Portman’s reversal is a selfish one … and a sign that the GOP remains out of touch with the real world. Unless it affects them directly, they don’t care, it’s been said.

I think that’s more of a humanity thing than a GOP thing, though. It’s also the reason that support for same-sex marriage is increasing. According to a CNN/ORC International survey, 57% of respondents say they have a family member or close friend who is gay or lesbian. That number is 12 points higher than six years ago.

I’d also like to point out that there are a number of fathers (and mothers) who find out that their sons (and daughters) are gay, but who don’t come around on the topic. Fortunately, though, those numbers are thinning.

Rob Portman isn’t just any dad, either, as indicated by the first reference of “Ohio Congressman Robert Portman.” His position dictates certain things. And his party affiliation dictates things as well. At least it did until now.

Frankly I’m just as impressed with Rob Portman’s decision to “come out” in support of gay marriage as I was unimpressed with Hillary Clinton’s.

Clinton was the one of the last Democrats to support what has essentially been a Democrat position. She was the final lemming, if you will. Portman, however, is one of the first Republicans to support what is about to become a human issue. He is a leader among his kind.

Scott Leffler is neither Democrat, Republican, nor lemming. He was for gay marriage way before it was cool. Tweet your support (or vitriol) @scottleffler. 

Do you really want Hillary Clinton defining marriage?

On Monday, former first lady, secretary of state and presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton came out in support of gay marriage.

The part of me that supports gay marriage thinks this is a great thing. But the part of me that has watched with mild dismay over what the Clintons have referred to as marriage is a little taken aback.

My personal belief is that marriage is a covenant between the two parties involved and God … or the church, if you prefer. I have long believed that if a couple could find a church to pronounce them spouses, it makes no difference what the state or federal government thinks. After all, the state’s role in marriage is simply one of codifying that which is already true.

To further explain: If two men or two women could find a church to say that they are legally married, the state of New York (or any other state) should not have any sort of veto power over a legally binding contract. The state’s sole role should be to mark it in the books as being “so.”

As of late, the topic of gay marriage has gained support among not only Democrats but the public at large. In fact, a recent poll said that 58 percent of Americans now support gay marriage. To be honest, I find that number to be surprising. I am shocked to believe that that many heterosexuals would be willing to share their “right” to marriage with homosexuals. But it shows that as a society we are making progress on the compassion front.

My biggest issue here is that by Hillary Clinton attaching her name to this cause, she actually dilutes the notion in a sort of “guilt by association” manner. Because the Clintons marriage has long been believed to be more of a political partnership than a personal partnership, I fear that some who oppose gay marriage will actually hold Bill and Hillary up as an example of why not to support gay marriage.

Imagine if you will Bernie Madoff discussing the importance of investing. Once his name is involved, the whole notion becomes tainted. He is probably responsible, after all, for people burying their money in their backyard or hiding it in a box under their bed. In fact, his suggesting that people should invest in the stock market should only serve as an example of why you’re best off doing just that — hiding your money in your freezer, ala William Jefferson.

Ronald McDonald shouldn’t be a spokesperson for dieting. Chelsea Handler shouldn’t be a spokesperson for sobriety. Sylvester Stallone shouldn’t be a spokesperson for yoga. And Hillary Clinton shouldn’t be a spokesperson for marriage — gay, straight or any other kind.

Scott Leffler would hide his money in his freezer … if he had any to hide. Follow him on Twitter @scottleffler.