Crisis mode is the new black

It seems to me like more and more we’re not normal unless we’re in the midst of a crisis.

I don’t know if it’s the effect of American Idol or it we were all raised on WWF or what, but more and more it seems like anything non-life-threatening is just boring to us.

First is was the end of the world prediction. Then the next one. Then the Mayan one. Then the Fiscal Cliff. And now we’re worried about the debt ceiling. Again.

Government shutdowns are the new norm and the possibility that we might know where our next meal or paycheck is coming from is just so passe. If we’re not living on the edge these days, it’s like we’re not living.

From the crisis that was the election to the economic crisis that followed in the months after, we’re glued to our TVs and newspapers wondering what horrible tragedy may meet us next.

I can’t help but wonder why. What is it we get out of it? Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I have a deluded view of the world and I’m the only one intrigued by these things.

In fact, there are people all around the world — even here in the US of A — that not only don’t know what the Fiscal Cliff is all about, they probably have no clue who won the American election. I either pity them or am jealous, I’m not sure which.

The latest grand plan, although I’m not sure whose plan it is, is to mint a trillion dollar coin to deal with the impending debt ceiling doom. A trillion. That’s a 1 with 12 zeros after it. It looks like this: 1,000,000,000,000.

If you worked for the next 70 years, you could easily save up a trillion dollars. Assuming of course, you didn’t eat … and you made $274.7 million a month. And some change.

To be completely honest with you, my life is kind of boring. I wake up. I eat. I putz around. I go to work. I come home. I putz around. I sleep. I repeat. On weekends, it’s a little more exciting because I actually get to spend time with my kids. And we watch movies where things blow up.

But movies where things blow up are not nearly as compelling as the possibility that the fabric of society completely unravels. Which is where we’ve constantly been for the past few years.

I mean, really. Your life pales in comparison to the impending doom predicted by some Mayan thousands of years ago who created a calendar which allegedly foretold the end of the world, right?

So we take the latest crisis and we hang on in hopes that it will be more exciting than the last crisis, which — let’s be honest — was a little ho hum, right?

Maybe some day we’ll go back to just living our lives. Going to work. Sleeping. And watching Bourne movies with the kids.

Until then, bring out the trillion dollar coin.

Scott Leffler majored in sarcasm in college. He had a double minor in apathy and lunch. Feel free to make a futile effort of following his twisted logic on Twitter @scottleffler.

There are things that actually matter

To hear some people tell it, this great republic of ours is on the brink of disintegration. We’re just days away from the annihilation of the Constitution and being run by the United Nations or George Soros. Or worse — both!

While I disagree that George Soros or the U.N. are the enemy, to a large extent, I agree with the doom-and-gloom crowd. I think we’re at a crossroads and it’s time to choose freedom. It’s time to remind the government that they serve our needs. Not the other way around.

Now, I’m not calling for armed insurrection, but it’s worth noting that we overthrew our English overlords for much less than our own government is doing to us right now. Yet there are many who are perfectly content to let government run their lives because it’s easier than being responsible for themselves. They’ve got a bowl full of Dinty Moore and Major League Baseball on their television. Who needs freedom?

The ancient Roman strategy of bread and circus served the Empire of Rome well. And it serves Congress well, too. As long as we’ve got food to eat and something to keep us entertained, we’ll ignore the fact that Congress is draining us of all that’s truly important — our worth and our liberty.

While we spend all our time bickering over who should have the right to marry (a religious institution that I don’t think government should have a say in in the first place), Congress tried to gut the First Amendment in the form of SOPA and later, CISPA.

While those of us with limited means fight to get what we can from the 1 percent, President Obama signed the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), allowing for indefinite military detention without charge or trial.

The NDAA is ugly. It’s like the Patriot Act had a little brother and that little brother is really mean. It’s an affront to the Fourth Amendment among other things. It stops just short of declaring the United States a war zone and imposing permanent martial law. And we should work to stop it. Just like we should work to stop a lot of the things that the state and federal governments are doing to us. But we’re bogged down talking about birth control.

Combine the two ugly acronyms — NDAA and CISPA — and you get A SIC PANDA. You also get a nation where you can be arrested and detained for anything or nothing and have no due process, nor an ability to even complain about it publicly.

You may say I’m being dramatic and exaggerating the issue and that we’ll never let it get that far. I’d like to think that was true. But I didn’t think we’d ever let it get this far.

It got this far because we were distracted — by American Idol, gay marriage, abortion and the NBA playoffs. We need to start paying attention to the things that matter.