Life's most lasting gifts don't come in boxes

Sunday morning, children around the world woke up and ran to the Christmas tree, anxious to see what Santa brought them.

Maybe they got toys. Maybe they got clothes. Maybe they got gift cards. Who knows. But surely they got memories. And over the years, they’ll get lessons. The toys they’ll forget. The lessons will stay with them.

A couple weeks ago, I was making Kool Aid. I got the Kool Aid packets, put them in the pitcher, added sugar and asked my girlfriend Heather to get me the wooden spoon out of the drawer.

Handing it to me, she asked, “Why wooden?”

I had no answer for her other than, “Because I always use the wooden spoon. I always have. I have no idea why.”

In short, I do it that way because I do it that way.

I asked my friends on Facebook if they had any similar oddities, explaining my wooden spoon Kool Aid story.

Oddly, most of them stirred their Kool Aid with a wooden spoon, too. More odd is that no one really knew why either. There were theories, but no hard science.

A quick Google search was sure to find me a reason that I always use the wooden spoon. I turned up dozens of search results for how to make Kool Aid. Almost all of them said “stir with wooden spoon.” None of them said why.

Thinking about it further, it occurred to me that my mom always made Kool Aid with a wooden spoon.

“Mom, why do I stir my Kool Aid with a wooden spoon?” I asked her.

She said she had no idea why I did, but said that she always used a wooden spoon when I was growing up.

“So why did you use a wooden spoon?”

“Probably because it was longest spoon that I had,” she answered.

So in essence, I use a wooden spoon because mom did. And no other reason.

It’s just one of many “gifts” that I’ve gotten from my mother over the years. I might not know when or why I got them, but they’ve stuck with me a lot longer than tinker toys or a “Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.”

Some of life’s best gifts aren’t wrapped. They aren’t given to you on your birthday or Christmas. And many you don’t even remember getting. But you keep them forever.

9-1-1 upgrade needed

I have a tendency to view most laws as either an incursion into our freedom, feel-good legislation created to make the lawmaker look good, or both.

Very seldom do I hear an idea for a new bill and say to myself, “How does this not already exist?”
But that’s exactly what happened Friday when I got an email from Congresswoman Kathy Hochul heralding her new bill before Congress, called the Allowing Local Emergency Response Technicians to Accept Cellular Texts Act, or A.L.E.R.T. A.C.T.

In short, when you send a text message to 9-1-1, it doesn’t go anywhere. It just heads out to the ether, never to be heard from again.

Hochul’s bill would push for cellular service providers to alert users who text 9-1-1 that their message did not go through, allowing the party in need to at least know that texting 9-1-1 doesn’t work and help is not on the way. This way, the person in need of help isn’t waiting for nothing.

The bill would also push for funding to go to improve existing 9-1-1 call centers to enable them to receive text messages, so that in the future help would come.

Considering the amount of communication done by the youth of the world, I can’t believe that it’s currently not possible to text 9-1-1. You can text in your vote to “American Idol,” but you can’t text for help if you’re in trouble.


I’m not an engineer, so I certainly don’t understand the complexity of the cellular industry or phone service. I’m sure, though, that 9-1-1 call centers are even more complex than cell phones.

However, it seems apparent to me that our nation’s emergency response infrastructure should get with the times and add texting capabilities so that people who are unable to call 9-1-1 could text the system and get the help they obviously need.

It’s not 1991 anymore. Cell phones are not an extravagance. They are the norm now. I know more and more people all the time who are forgoing their home phone service and going with cellular only.
I also know more and more people who use text as their primary means of communication. On any given day, I may get a handful of phone calls and more than 100 text messages.

So adding texting capabilities to 9-1-1 is a necessity. And until that happens, asking cellular providers to inform their customers that their text did not go through is something those cellular providers should do — with or without the A.L.E.R.T. A.C.T. in place.

The next step, in my opinion, would be to allow Voice Over Internet Protocol, or VOIP, services to call 9-1-1. Anyone with a Magic Jack, Skype or Vonage phone simply can’t call 9-1-1.

Again, I’m not an engineer, so I don’t fully understand the difficulty, but I know that when people need help, we as society should make it possible for them to get that help.

I’m rooting for Kathy Hochul on this one. Her bill isn’t intrusive and it’s meaningful. Sure, it will cost money — to both local police departments and the cellular industry — but that money may actually save lives.

Rick Perry adds hate to the mix

Last week it was Herman Cain. This week, we’re focusing our attention on the reincarnate of George W. Bush — Rick Perry.

I want to like the Texas governor for his folksiness. I want to like him because he’s simple and down to earth. But I can’t. He comes across as an unintelligent thug. And last week he added hate to the mix.

Perry’s latest campaign gimmick is his latest television commercial, which he entitled “Strong.” It’s a 30-second ad summing up what is wrong with America in the following fashion: Gays can openly serve in the military, and kids cannot openly pray in school or celebrate Christmas.

First of all, to think that the problem with America is that everyone, no matter their sexual preference, can serve in America’s armed forces is foolish. It’s also divisive and hateful.

The Republican mantra on gay marriage is that it shouldn’t be allowed because it affords homosexuals special privileges and everyone should be equal. If equality is the issue, then how can anyone say that gays should be barred from the military because of their sexual preference? It’s blatant hypocrisy.

The second problem with Perry’s ad is the imaginary war on Christmas. I’ve been complaining about the pretend war on Christmas for years. There seems to be a theory among the Bill O’Reillys of the world that inclusiveness is bad. Somehow asking people to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is an affront to their delicate nature.

Perry says that kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas in school. I know of no schools that bar children from saying “Merry Christmas” or wearing Christmas-related T-shirts, sweatshirts, whatever. I also am unaware of any public school in America that has school on Christmas. I’m pretty sure they all have the day off —even on years where it doesn’t fall on a Sunday.

Sure, maybe the school doesn’t put up a manger scene or even a Christmas tree. And I understand that some people — including Rick Perry — would have a problem with this. I don’t, however. My children get their religious instruction at home. And, frankly, that’s where I want them to get it. They go to school to learn. In theory.

Lastly, Perry’s claim that kids can’t openly pray in school is also hogwash. When I was in school, we didn’t have daily prayers. But there was plenty of praying. Silent pleas to God for good test grades, the right food to be served in the cafeteria and Friday night dates. The fact that those prayers were most often not answered tells me God didn’t want to be in school, either.

I’m pretty sure that kids still pray for exactly the same things. And even if it were illegal for them to do so (which it’s not), they’d still do it anyway.

Last week, the Cain Train derailed. This week it’s Rick Perry’s turn to find greener pastures. Anyone who so openly uses mistruths and divisiveness is not fit to hold the office of the presidency.

I wonder whose campaign will implode next week.

Cain's departure makes GOP field less entertaining

The field of Republican presidential candidates narrowed slightly over the weekend as Herman Cain “suspended” his campaign.

For Cain fans, don’t let that fool you into believing he may unsuspend it at some point. He’s done like dinner.

And honestly, that’s a shame. I liked Cain. He added some entertainment to this race, and in truth, I thought he had some good ideas.

But he also had some really bad ideas — like being “friends” with a woman for 13 years and giving her what amounted to an allowance for that period of time without telling his wife.

What is with these candidates and their inability to understand that they can’t have these “friendships” with women who are not their wives? You would think that after all the outrage displayed by both parties with the whole Monica Lewinsky thing, politicians would have learned that they just can’t get away with that sort of behavior — especially with the limelight that is cast upon them in a presidential race.

Personally, I’m inclined to believe that a politician’s personal life should be allowed to be kept separate from his or her public persona. As long as they can do their job, what they do when they’re not at work shouldn’t much matter — except their belief that they could keep anything like that hidden displays a delusion of grandeur that should cause concern.

With Cain officially out of the race, that makes Newt Gingrich the latest not-Mitt Romney. It’s hard for me to believe that as hard as Gingrich fell following the Contract with America, he was able to get back up. His rise should give hope to the Eliot Spitzers, John Edwards and Herman Cains of the world. In politics, apparently, nothing is unforgivable — with the appropriate amount of time.

That’s both heartening — knowing that in time, wrongs can be righted — and disheartening — knowing that there are apparently no better candidates than the ones we have before us.

Personally, I continue to have my eye on Ron Paul. Yeah, he’s quirky. And a lot of people don’t take him seriously. But he may be the only one of the lot that’s actually read the Constitution and has any plan to follow it.

The GOP primaries start in less than a month. And when they do, that list of candidates will whittle down quickly. I imagine it will whittle down to Romney and someone else. I don’t think it will be Gingrich. Nor to I imagine it will be Paul.

Of course, I won’t be voting in the Republican primary. It may be hard for some of you to believe, but I’m not a Republican. I also won’t be voting for Obama. Because I’m also not a Democrat.

I’m always amused when those on the left tell me I’m a crazy right-winger. I’m equally amused when those on the right tell me I’m a crazy left-winger. This just goes to show that both extremes of the political spectrum agree on one thing: I’m crazy. And I’m OK with that.

Excited about the season

This past weekend was one of my favorite weekends of the year — the weekend the world transitions to Christmas.

Magically, the Friday after Thanksgiving, it’s OK to listen to Christmas music, and suddenly all those Christmas lights that I’ve been complaining about don’t seem so passé. I get this itch, wanting to decorate the house for Christmas and watch Christmas movies. Actually, Christmas fever, if you will, starts before Thanksgiving, and becomes just about unbearable during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. By the time Santa heads down the parade route, I’m about ready to jump out of my skin.

Many of you spent the morning after Thanksgiving waiting in lines for shopping deals at local shops and big box stores. For those who did it, good for you. That’s typically part of my Black Friday tradition, and it’s usually quite memorable, although I skipped it this year in favor of sleep. However, I have a video from one Black Friday of me walking from the entrance at the Target on Transit Road in Williamsville all the way to the end of the line. The video is about five minutes long as I kibitz with the people standing in line — all of them in front of me as I head to my spot at the rear. It was cold and wet, but everyone in line was excited to be there.

For the life of me, I can’t think of a single thing I’ve ever bought on Black Friday, but the experience itself was always fun. That may seem crazy to you, but those who get into it will surely agree. Different strokes for different folks, ya know?

Saturday, the kids and I got a pizza and — with the help of my girlfriend — started boxing up the decorations that adorn the house the 11 months out of the year that aren’t Christmas. We wrapped the photo frames on the wall in Christmas wrapping paper and put out the Christmas clock. We put up and molded the tree and decorated it with ornaments, some of which I’ve had since I was a tiny tot and some that we just got last year. Many of the ornaments mean something special, but they all mean it’s Christmas.

We watched “Home Alone.” And “Home Alone 2.” We watched the first few minutes of “Home Alone 3” and then decided it was stupid. We talked about the Christmas specials we all love — like “Charlie Brown” and “Rudolph.” And we listened to some Christmas jazz when we weren’t watching Christmas movies.

There’s just something about this time of year that turns people into kids. Or at least it does so for me. Although I’ve lived through Christmas 36 times before, it always seems so new, so fresh, so exciting.
So if you see me over the next month, and I’m all giddy and look like I won the lottery, odds are it’s just that I feel like I won the lottery. Because it’s Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving to the people I love

Most mornings - and occasionally some afternoons - I wake up in my bed in my apartment in Tonawanda. I love where I live. It’s a stone’s throw away from the Niagara River, or it would be for someone who were better at throwing stones. It’s also not far from the Erie Canal.

Before I even get out of bed, I check my phone to see if I have any text messages. I almost always do. It might be simple “hello” or much a more pressing issue that needs to be dealt with, but before I was even awake, someone was thinking of me.

My phone sleeps on the pillow next to me. In truth, it sleeps very little. Because anyone that knows me knows that I sleep very little. I’m not sure if it’s the thoughts rattling in my brain or the gallons of coffee I drink every day, but I don’t get my recommended dose of sleep, I’m sure of that.

When I do decide to get out of bed, I stumble into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of that coffee. Always with sugar. Sometimes with milk. It depends on the temperature of the coffee. I like Folgers. Or Maxwell House. Or Hortons. Or whatever. As long as it’s coffee flavored.

I take that coffee into my living room and sit on my couch - or my gliding chair if the couch is occupied - and check my email and whatnot.

More communication. Emails from people I know. Messages from people I don’t know. Friend requests. And even the occasional hate mail, which, in all honesty, always puts a smile on my face. No, I’m not being facetious.

I think a lot. Happy thoughts. Sad thoughts. Simple thoughts. Complex thoughts. Always thinking. Sometimes I wish I could shut if off. Just like sometimes I wish I could sleep.

Some days I eat before going to work. Some days I don’t. For that matter, some days I eat. And some days I don’t. My oldest daughter will occasionally text me just to remind me to eat. I usually haven’t and thank her for the reminder.

My phone is constantly chirping. Text messages. Instant messages. Emails. Seriously, as I typed the word “emails,” I received one. It’s 3:19 a.m. as I type this. And I just got an email.

I don’t get many phone calls. But that’s because most people have figured out that I don’t usually like to talk on the phone. That’s got to seem odd, considering I talked for a living for seven years. Or maybe that makes it less odd. But people take into consideration that I’m usually more comfortable with email or text.

It astounds me that in a world with 7 billion people, anyone would take time out to consider me. But they do. Today I spoke with at least a dozen people who asked how I was - and genuinely wanted to know.

I have a lot of “things” that I could be thankful for this year, but that which I’m most grateful for is the people in my life. Some have been there since grade school. Some only became part of my life recently. And of course, my mother has been there since day one. But all have their role. Just as you have yours. And hopefully, I have a role in your life as well. Even if it’s just reading this column each week.

Happy Thanksgiving. I love you all.

Election night bloopers and jokes

I’ve mentioned before that politics is one of my favorite sports, and election night is my Superbowl.

Just like the real Superbowl, no two election nights are the same. Sometimes things go exactly how you expect them, and sometimes there’s a wardrobe malfunction at half time or a wide-right field goal with time running out.

This year, I was quarterbacking election coverage for the Lockport Union-Sun & Journal. We had our team in place and were in the typically boring part of the evening — the “now we wait” part.
In truth, there are several “now we wait” parts. We wait for polls to close. We wait for results to come in. And then we wait for candidates to talk to us. This was the second “now we wait” part, waiting for the numbers to come in.

I sat in the newsroom waiting for fresh numbers from the board of elections, and our team was out in the field waiting to talk to candidates and taking pictures of the evening’s candidates’ parties.

Our staff photographer, Joe Eberle, was popping back and forth from Republican headquarters at Danny Sheehan’s to Democratic County Clerk Candidate Pat Murphy’s headquarters at the Shamus Restaurant. Meanwhile, one of our freelance photographers, Heather Grimmer, had set up camp at Lockport’s Democratic headquarters, the Davison Road Inn.

The Davison Road Inn, or D.R.I., was the home to Democratic mayoral candidate Mike Pillot and candidate for alderman, Shirley Nicholas.

We knew the mayoral race was going to be tight and could go either way. The refuse and recycling issue in Lockport had made Mayor Mike Tucker vulnerable. It had done the same with 1st Ward Alderwoman Richelle Pasceri. In fact, she had lost the GOP primary to Nicholas for that very reason.
Potentially, we had two upsets on our hands, and we wanted to have a photographer on hand to snap pictures of the happy winners at Democrat headquarters, if that’s the way it played out.

Unfortunately, our photographer, Heather, was asked to stop taking photographs — and leave — by adherents to the Democrats’ campaigns.

“We don’t like the Union-Sun and we’d like you to leave,” is the paraphrase that was relayed back to me.

Heather — a professional photographer, but a novice at politics — called to ask me how to proceed. Me — not being a novice at politics — was rather upset at the lack of class and professional decorum on display by the Democrats. And frankly, I was a bit shocked. I mean, this just isn’t the way it works.

Side note for those who don’t know me well: The only thing I dislike more than Democrats are Republicans.

Heather had every right to stay at D.R.I., a point reiterated to her by the staff of the D.R.I. But I told her to leave the restaurant without taking any photos. If the candidates and their people didn’t want their pictures in the paper, then, by golly, they weren’t going to be.

And all I could think was, “If this is the way these people treat others, I hope to God they don’t get elected.”

They didn’t. Karmic justice, if you ask me.

Misplaced hero worship gets smacked down

I was an average teenage American boy.

And like average teenage American boys of my time, I collected baseball cards. I also collected football cards, hockey cards and the occasional collectible cards associated with movies and TV shows. I’m not sure if they still make those, but I know they still make sports trading cards.

There is a huge industry related to the hero worship of athletes. Aside from the trading cards, there’s also shirts, hats, posters — you name it. We buy the sports stuff so we can feel like we’re “part of it.” The “it” of course, being something important.

The hero worship of athletes, alone, is a huge industry. Add in movie stars and television actors, and millions of Americans spend a large portion of their time and money trying to feel a “part of” something “important.”

Today is Election Day, of course, and that adds in another sector of the hero-worship industry: Politicians. Granted, I think it’s a much smaller scale, but I can confess to having a bumper sticker and pin collection from throughout the years. A few years ago, I was offered a pretty penny for a Ron Paul pin I was wearing at the time. I refused the offer, electing instead to keep my pin.

But what of society’s real heroes? Where is the industry to worship — or at least salute — them? Where are the trading cards for doctors, nurses, police officers, firefighters, and even teachers?

I was having a conversation with a friend on Sunday during the Bills game. We were discussing this oddity and imagining how strange it would be to see doctors wearing jerseys during live-to-air broadcasts of appendectomies or whatnot.

Imagine how surreal it would be if your kids were talking about the statistics of successful operations or graduating rates or arrests or — well, I think you get the picture.

I’d love to see a local hospital start this trend. I’d love to see someone go out on a limb to try to start this trend of appropriately placed hero worship. Or at least respect.

Sure, people directly affected by the successful operations show their respect. Yes, people silently appreciate criminals being arrested and kids learning their multiplication tables. But isn’t it bizarre how little importance is given to these things that actually matter.

Now, I’m not saying this to bash sports figures, actors or even politicians. I have a very healthy appreciation for the morale boost that can be given to a city by a big win by their football team. But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter how few championships Buffalo has. And save for a few millionaires and those who lost bets this weekend, the Bills loss to the Jets this Sunday doesn’t truly affect many people in Western New York. And yet, we act like it does.

I am an average adult male. And like most average adult males of my time, I have a T-shirt with an NFL logo on it.

I’m guilty of misdirected hero worship. But I’m wondering why. Are you?

Random scary thoughts for the day

The world got a little scarier Monday - and not because it was Halloween. Scientific projections estimate that planet Earth welcomed it 7 billionth concurrent citizen yesterday. That’s a whole lot of of people. Heck, 7 billion is a whole lot of anything. But especially people. 

Think of all those potential voters (and taxpayers)!

I read a piece by CNN’s Bob Greene the other day talking about addiction to electronic devices. He indicates that if your smart phone sleeps in the same room with you, you may have an addiction. I have to confess, I’m guilty of that. I think it comes from living alone.

You may recall about  year and a half ago, I wrote a column relaying my glee with having signed up for cable (actually satellite) television service. Recently we decided to take a break. We didn’t break up, really, but we’re seeing other people - or something like that. 

Having lived in my apartment in Tonawanda since last April, I finally decided I couldn’t live without dedicated internet service. I was using my cell phone as a modem when I needed to log on, but it got tedious and I needed something faster. Unfortunately, in order to do that, I had to scrap TV. I can only afford so many non-essentials, after all.

I’m going on a month without television. And I don’t miss it all that much. I’ve found other things to occupy my time and other ways to watch the things I absolutely don’t want to miss. I’ve also found that I have very little desire to watch the Bills. The Bills won 23-0 on Sunday and I missed every second of it. And I didn’t miss a second of it. 

Speaking of the Bills, I see they have a new idea on how to hold the area hostage, wanting  the state and Erie County to pay for significant improvements to their current stadium in Orchard Park in exchange for the team promising to stay in Orchard Park.

Gee, so they’ll stay our friend if we pay them? That’s what it sounds like to me.

Personally, I’d consider this deal if the team actually wanted to play in Buffalo. But the city has very little - if any - economic benefit to home games being played in the Southtowns.

I have nothing against the Bills. I’ve been a fan since birth. Kind of. But the economic blackmailing being done by one of the richest men in Western New York is atrocious. The fact that anyone is considering it, is worse.

This deal is exactly the type of thing that the Occupy movement is about. There should be no doubt that Ralph Wilson is one of the richest guys in the area. And he’s going to make sure to stay that way by forcing us to pay for his stadium upgrade. He gets to stay rich and we have the privilege of having a football team. 

I can’t wait for the politicians to tell us what a great deal this is for us. Thank God there’s 7 billion people on planet earth now to help us pay for it. 

For everything there is a season

I’ve always liked Halloween.

As a kid, Halloween gave me an excuse to eat as many Snickers bars as possible in a very short period of time. I’m almost surprised I made it through the Halloweens of my youth, given the amount of sugar I consumed.

Also as a kid, I always enjoyed the Halloween parade at my school, Military Road Elementary School, which is now just a big abandoned building. Some say it’s haunted. Of course, some say every big abandoned building is haunted. They have overactive imaginations.

As a teenager, it was my love of scary movies that took over. I have no idea why it is people enjoy being scared, but they do. Many of my favorite movies are of the horror variety.

When my kids were younger, I enjoyed Halloween vicariously through them. They got excited about the costumes — and no doubt, the candy. I enjoyed walking around the neighborhood with them and hearing everyone comment on their costumes.

As an adult, my favorite part about Halloween is the costumes. It’s amazing some of the things that some people wear out in public. I’m not sure when Halloween made the transition from “wear something scary” to “wear almost nothing,” but I’m not complaining.

I also enjoy carving pumpkins. I’m not particularly good at it, but I have fun doing it anyway. I’m usually a bit of an overachiever when it comes to jack-o-lantern carving. I have some great pictures throughout the years.

I find it funny that the same holiday has meant so many different things over the years. I guess that’s called growing up.

Another thing that Halloween means these days is that it’s almost election time. This has been a rather hum-drum election year. There are no major statewide races. There are no Congressional races. And despite the fact that there are stories about the race for the White House in the news every single day, that’s not this year either.

I’m looking forward to the end of election season, nonetheless.

Election season is almost a Halloween of its own. Normal people change into something different to bad-mouth perfectly good citizens and make the rest of the world think they’re sinister and scary.
After Halloween (and election season), it’s a mad dash to the end of the year — and Christmas.

Stores used to wait until after Halloween to start putting up Christmas displays. That tradition seems to have been changed. This year, I saw Christmas stuff and Halloween stuff go out at the same time.
I love me some Christmas, but I do wish it would wait until after spooky season.

It’s funny how fast the last two months of the year always go. The calendar gets from Nov. 1 to Dec. 31 in what seems like a couple days. But Jan. 1 to March 1, on the other hand, take much, much longer.

For now, I’ll just enjoy the season we’re in — with the candy and the movies and the decorations and the costumes. And the political fliers and the commercials and the lies and the propaganda.

Everything counts in small amounts

The Occupy Wall Street movement continues to intrigue me. And I continue to research it.

Thursday, I went to the Occupy Buffalo protest to talk to some people about the group, their goals, their thoughts, etc. I did very little talking, frankly, but quite a bit of listening. And from what I gathered, I'm still a fan.

I saw a headline on a website the other day talking about the organization's "Anti-capitalist protest." Whoever wrote that headline does not know what the majority of the Occupy movement stands for. They are not anti-capitalist.

Another headline said "Group protests greed." That's considerably more accurate. I didn't hear a single person say that people shouldn't make money. I didn't hear a single person say that people shouldn't be allowed to amass wealth. They did, however, feel that the banking industry had taken advantage of the government when it was bailed out, and by taking advantage of the government, it took advantage of the people. That coupled with the fact that homes are still being foreclosed upon and loans are hard to obtain makes the Occupy folks (or the 99 percenters, if you prefer) to feel as though something needs to be done.

One of the groups greatest selling points is also its biggest weakness. They are an organization without a leader. There's no one "in charge" despite what you might hear on right-wing radio or Fox News. They aren't taking marching orders from Nancy Pelosi or George Soros. In fact, they aren't taking marching orders from anyone.

From what I've seen and heard, they're just as upset with Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama as they are with the Republicans. They feel as though there's very little difference between the two major parties.

Republican front-runner Herman Cain (when did that happen) seems to think that they're anti-GOP and should focus their ire on the White House. Many Democrats, I think, are hopeful that this is a left-wing response to the Tea Party. It's not. And I hope it never is.

It seems to me that the Occupy movement is what the Tea Party never was but should have been. It's a grass roots populist group made up "of the people" - the regular people. The 99 percent of us working paycheck to paycheck. I hope it stays that way.

The Wall Street protest began its second month yesterday. I can't help but wonder how long they plan to stay there and what will happen in the meantime.

***

Random side note: I wrote a piece about Occupy Wall Street on my personal blog the other day. I linked it to Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Somehow it got shared by someone or someones leading to me getting an email Saturday that I didn't expect from
a  very old friend of mine who I had lost contact with nearly 20 years ago.

You never know what effect your work will have on the world. If a blog post I wrote in Tonawanda could get shared with someone in the middle of Pennsylvania, who knows what your actions might result in.

Everything counts in small amounts.

Is a "Tea Party Occupation" in our future?

I can’t help but feel like Occupy Wall Street, now in its fourth week, is a movement without a cause.
Sure, I’ve seen their list of grievances — and most of what they find objectionable about the current state of our capitalist system, I find objectionable, myself.

They’re upset that the super rich have gotten increasingly more wealthy with the help of government and to the detriment of the working class. They’re upset that the super rich seem to have their own rules and flaunt that fact, despite the fact that it hurts the economy, the environment and our Constitutional rights.

They haven’t, however, come up with a list of demands. That’s somewhat understandable because, while it may be easy to point out what’s wrong, it is more difficult to come up with solutions.

They’ve been labeled as anarchists, slackers and lowlifes. Photos and videos that I’ve seen would indicate that they are overwhelmingly not those things.

What began on Sept. 17 as a protest in Manhattan has spread to a series of international protests about the plight of the working class, an increasing number of which is not working. And of those who are working, an increasing number aren’t making enough to stay afloat.

About two and a half years ago, I went to a Tea Party rally in Buffalo. The Tea Party movement was in its infancy, and I thought I agreed with some of their ideals. They opposed government intervention in their lives and wanted a return to days when government was controlled by the people.

It only took me one Tea Party rally, however, to realize that the Tea Party wasn’t for me. The fact that they invited an elected member of the New York State Senate to speak told me everything I needed to know. The Tea Party movement was just a bunch of disgruntled Republicans who weren’t so much upset at government as they were at Democrats.

I’m no fan of the Democrats, but we need them to keep the Republicans in check, in my opinion. And we need the Republicans to keep the Democrats in check. It’s a vicious cycle.

I can’t help but wonder, though, what would happen if the Tea Party movement and the Occupy Wall Street movement ever got together and realized that there’s a lot they could agree on.

The Occupy Wall Street movement has been improperly branded as a leftist organization. First, it’s hardly an organization. Ask any three protesters what they’re fighting for, and you’re likely to get different answers. Second, they’re just as upset with the Democrats and President Obama as they are with the Republicans.

So the Tea Party is upset with government. And the Occupy Wall Street movement is upset with a system that rewards bad behavior. It seems to me that if they got together and found some real worthwhile candidates for office, they might both get their way.

I don’t think either movement is going to go away any time soon. I just hope that they realize that they can accomplish more together than separately. Frankly, we need some change around here.

I'm ready to give (something) up - Are you?

I'm not afraid of giving something up for the greater good.

Life is give and take. Sacrifice and reward. We've all been there, having to choose between going out to eat and paying the electric bill. Hopefully the electric bill won out.

Odds are if you're reading this column, you just can't have everything all the time – or in the words of Jagger, “You can't always get what you want.”

Actually, the sacrifices I'm thinking of today aren't even really things that I want. Maybe you do, which, of course, will make them bigger sacrifices. But for me? No big deal.

The United States Postal Service has thrown around the idea of eliminating Saturday mail delivery. Many people seem to be up in arms about this. For the life of me, I can't figure out why.

In my lifetime, I've had eight different addresses. That's eight different mailboxes in 36 years. I don't know that in all those years and all those mailboxes I've ever gotten real mail on a Saturday.

It seems impossible that no one ever sends a bill or a letter or anything of any importance on whatever day it would need to be sent to reach my address on Saturday, but I don't think it's ever happened.

This past Saturday, for instance, I got two bulk mail things with coupons and whatnot. I think that's exactly what I got last Saturday. In fact, I think that's what I've gotten every Saturday for the past year and a half that I've lived in Tonawanda.

I recall thinking this to myself a few years ago – the last time the postal service discussed eliminating Saturday delivery. I think all I was getting then was junk mail, too.

Frankly, even if I were getting “real mail” on Saturday, I can't think of an occasion where I couldn't have possibly waited two days to get that mail. Can you think of a time when you've gotten emergency Saturday mail that you had to respond to or react to immediately?

As far as I'm concerned, they can do away with Saturday. Maybe another day, too. In fact, if the USPS mail delivery was Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I think that would be just fine.

We only have garbage pickup once a week. Somehow we manage.

My second sacrifice is also small. In fact, it's mere pennies. Literally. Let's get rid of pennies. They cost more to produce than they're worth. They clog up my changeholder in my car and they're kind of a pain to deal with.

I say in cash transactions, we just round everything to the nearest nickel and call it a day.

Sure, we might “lose” a couple cents on some transactions here and there, but what were you going to do with those pennies anyway?

So we give up Saturday mail and pennies. And the richest one percent give up a little extra in taxes. We all feel the pinch and the world keeps spinning.

What do you think?

Act in your own interest

Much noise has been made about a viral internet video featuring Wall Street professionals mocking protesters participating in the “Occupy Wall Street” campaign.

The video shows a hand full of well-dressed business types drinking champagne and taking photos of the protesters. Many have referred to it as “a slap in the face” of those on the streets picketing what they say are unfair market conditions that keep the rich rich, keep the poor poor and wipe out the middle class.

The war between the haves and the have-nots has gone on since the dawn of time and won’t end any time soon, but the current economic situation in the country, coupled with mass media alerting everyone to said economic situation makes it all the more heartbreaking.

While I think the Wall Street types’ actions are deplorable, I’m not in the “lynch them” crowd. From their perspective, their way of life is being attacked. In fact, from their point of view, they themselves are being attacked.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have much sympathy for them. I may even envy them, just like I imagine the protesters envy them, as well.

Most of us grew up learning that if we worked hard, we, too could have the American dream. And most of us believe that today. Some of us may have achieved that dream — with a house, two cars, a cat, a dog, picket fence, etc.

There are some people, though, who work hard every day and have less and less to show for it. In fact, right now, more Americans are slipping into poverty on a daily basis. They wish they could be drinking champagne and mocking the downtrodden. If only they could figure out a way to no longer be downtrodden.

It doesn’t help that right-wing talk radio and conservative news outlets have convinced us that the downtrodden are the problem. The people starving and homeless are what’s wrong with America, they’d have you believe. It’s almost social Darwinism. And it’s downright scary.

I’m certainly not saying storm the castle and take what you feel you deserve. That’s not what our republic is about. The revolution should be at the ballot box. But there will be no revolution if the people vote against their best interest.

Voting for someone who idolizes the rich because you idolize the rich is a path to your own destruction. Self loathing on account of your aspirations to be able to loathe the downtrodden from above is a huge mistake, to say the least.

So when it comes time to vote, vote for you or at the very least someone like you.

To paraphrase Niccolo Machiavelli, “deal with the situation at hand — not the situation you wish were at hand.” And the situation is that we’re empowering the destruction of the middle class.

Act in your own best interest. If you don’t, no one else will.

Struggling for power and fighting the future

Like many of you, I'd imagine, I have a cell phone charger at home and another at work.

Funny story. For some reason that escapes me now, I brought my home charger to work on Wednesday. And forgot it there. So Thursday morning, my phone had drained completely and I had no charger. I live in Tonawanda and work in Lockport, so it's not like I could just pop in and grab it. It's about a half an hour drive. Fortunately, my downstairs neighbor uses the same charger and I got through the day.

After work on Thursday, I remembered to bring home my home charger.

Friday, I get to work and find that I'm actually working out of our Tonawanda offices instead of the Lockport office, like I usually do. So in order to make sure I got through the night, I brought my work phone charger to the Tonawanda News with me ... and then home.

My girlfriend and her kids came over Sunday to spend time with me and my girls. She brought her home charger with her ... and accidentally left it at my place. (She lives in Lockport)

After dropping my kids off at their mom's (Lockport) following the weekend, I popped into work to grab the power cord for my laptop, as I'm off for a few days and won't have the juice to get through it without the power cord, should I need to use my work laptop.

I would have let my girlfriend borrow my work charger, since we use the same type and I won't need it for the next three days ... but I left it at home. Along with my home charger. And her charger. If you're keeping track here, on Thursday morning, I had no phone chargers at home. As I type this, I have three.

Also, it's not without irony that the reason I had stopped into work at all was to get the laptop cord/charger.

---

Every day that passes, I'm a little older – and hopefully a little wiser, but more importantly (and sadly) right now, we're a little closer to winter.

It's football season and the Bills are off to a great start, having won half as many games already as they won all of last year.

Last night started Sabres' pre-season. That excites me a lot more than football season, quite frankly. If spending means winning, then the Sabres should have a great year this year. Of course, spending doesn't always mean winning, but I'm hopeful anyway.

My neighbor across the street put scarecrows out over the weekend. I think they're Halloween decoration. I love Halloween more than most, but I think it's a bit early to start decorating. Of course, it's better than my neighbor down the street who still has Christmas lights up – and lights them. I'm sure they'd say they're not “Christmas” lights, they're just lights. But I'm not buying it.

We've only got a little over three months before it's 2012 – and there's just 14 months before the world is supposed to end … again. You may recall that the rapture was supposed to occur earlier this summer and didn't. Of course, I'm okay with the world not ending this summer. And I'll be equally pleased if it doesn't end next December. I have too many things left to do than I'll be able to accomplish in 14 months. One of them, apparently, is to invent a way to charge phones and laptops without cords.

Sept. 11th took a toll on all of us - and still does

I'll be honest, I wanted to avoid writing about Sept. 11^th. You've already read so much about it in the last couple weeks and I've heard so much about it myself. I just wanted to stay away from it.

But I can't.

This weekend was hard for all of us. Every single person I know over the age of 20 has a “where were you when” story. Everyone has a story about how it affected them. Everyone knows someone they were worried about, whether it was a friend or colleague in New York or D.C., or whether it was someone local that they just couldn't stop worrying about.

My day was not unlike anyone else's. I got the news on my computer, went to the television and watched in horror as the day's events unfolded. From the instant the second plane hit, all I could think about was how badly I wanted my wife to come home.

It all seems almost silly now that we'd be worried about people in Buffalo or, in my case, Niagara Falls. But we had no idea how things would play out and given the degree to which the day already didn't make sense, who could blame us for not thinking clearly.

I got choked up a couple times this weekend. Try as I may, I couldn't help but go “back there” mentally, revisiting the fears that I had on the day.

For a male, I'm pretty big on dates. I remember birthdays and anniversaries. I remember what happened a year ago most days. I recall the dates of significant things that happened in my life. The closing date on my house, the day I bought my car, first dates, last dates, etc. I'm not sure why. If I were a computer, I would try to turn this feature off. Frankly, it's a hassle. 

No matter whether you're big on dates, though, Sunday was probably a big one for you. You could “feel” it around town. The quiet that cried out — people trapped in their own minds.

I went to a Sept. 11^th memorial Sunday at Lockport's VFW post 2535. “Quiet” was the word that summed it up. No one was on their cell phone. No one was texting. And the conversations that were happening were all in very hushed tones.

State Sen. George Maziarz was there and gave a very short speech. I've known the senator for several years. He never shies away from talking. But Sunday he said what he had to say in just a couple minutes, thanking the heroes of 10 years ago — as well as the heroes of today, and stepping away from the microphone.

For anyone that knows George Maziarz, you know he's a very outgoing person, always working the crowd, shaking hands, laughing. There was none of this on Sunday. He was quiet. Reserved. Maybe it was simply out of respect. Or maybe he was just like the rest of us, trapped in thought, thinking about the things that were important to him.

In truth, I'm glad to have the anniversary pass. It took an emotional toll, one I don't want to deal with again for a while. 

As I said, I didn't want to write about Sept. 11^th. I'd rather focus on something else. But for better or worse, these past few days, nothing else existed.

Are we missing the obvious?

Another summer has come and passed. I hope you all got out there and took advantage of all that Western New York has to offer.

I spent most of the unofficial last weekend of summer eating, first at a family gathering and then at the 10^th Annual National Buffalo Wing Festival.

I've gone to the chicken wing festival for several years now. And it always amazes me that there are these businesses around the world that make money – and lots of it – off of chicken wings. An entire industry, if you will, exists because of something that happened right here in Buffalo. And although wings remain a “Buffalo thing,” there are restaurants all across America that make Buffalo (and our wings) their specialty. 

Each restaurant seems to have their niche. Many seem to go for the hottest wing possible. Others go for different and unusual flavors. But they all recognize that Buffalo is the chicken wing capital of the world. 

For decades, people have recognized Buffalo as the birthplace of chicken wings. In fact, many parts of the country refer to them as “Buffalo wings.” 

But it took a somewhat obscure movie starring Bill Murray – who went to a fictional chicken wing festival in Buffalo - and a newspaper column asking why said chicken wing festival didn't really exist to make Drew Cerza, AKA the “Wing King,” stand up and say, “Why don't we celebrate this birthright of ours? Why don't we have a festival dedicated to chicken wings?”

And so, 10 years ago the National Buffalo Wing Festival was born. It's grown each year, attracting more and more media attention to one of the things that we do right. TV cameras from every major news organization were in town, showing Buffalo on a hot summer day instead of the standard blizzard footage they all seem to show every time Buffalo is mentioned.

For the fifth year in a row, yesterday, Sonya “Black Widow” Thomas won the chicken wing eating championship. This year she did it in style, eating 183 wings in 12 minutes, setting a new world record. I couldn't eat 183 wings in a week, let alone 12 minutes. 

Thomas' feat will no doubt bring even further attention to Buffalo. 

Good for us.

The whole thing makes me wonder, though; If we were so oblivious to not have a chicken wing festival one of the things we're most famous for, what else are we forgetting? What other obvious highlights, attractions and local oddities are we forgetting to promote? 

The rest of the world thinks of Buffalo as “the place where snow comes from.” But we have so many things to offer the world. From art and music to architecture and industry, Western New York has so much to be proud of. 

Which of you will be the next Drew Cerza? Which of you will be the next person to realize that there's something we need share with the world – and bring it to fruition?

* A side note: There was a “Ridiculously Hot Wing Eating Championship. The winner ate 20 of them in the least amount of time. I tried one of those hot wings from Hurricane Grill and Wings. My ears literally hurt and I was dizzy. They were impressive. And painful.

The end of an era ...

I quit. Again. But for real this time. And forever.

I’d say I’ve done it before, but that goes against the entire notion of quitting. I mean, had I really quit, I wouldn’t have to quit again.

Actually, this is my third attempt at quitting this year. The first two failed miserably. This time seems somewhat promising. It’s been more than 36 hours since I had my last cigarette.

For the life of me, I have no idea why people smoke. It’s expensive, smelly and it’s bad for you. And yet, for the past four years or so, I’ve been lighting up to the tune of a pack a day. Sometimes more. Sometimes less.

That’s right, I’ve only smoked four years. Prior to that, there was a five-year hiatus in my nicotine addiction — or at least the active appeasement of that addiction.

In truth, I’ll always be an addict. That’s what makes staying away so important. As I already said, I had a five-year break from smoking. I went nearly 2,000 days without cigarettes. Not a single one. Because I know I’m not strong enough to have just one.

And when I did have “just one” four years ago, I ended up back to a pack a day.

I don’t want that to happen again, so I’m going to steer clear of the first one. It’s pretty hard to smoke a pack a day if you never light the first one.

Last time I quit, I used gum. Lots of it. Every time I wanted a cigarette, I would instead pop a piece of gum.

This time, I’m employing the use of an electronic cigarette. They aren't mean to be a stop-smoking device, but if it works, I win.

I write this column for a few reasons. First of all, I think my chances of quitting are better if I have “sponsors.” I hereby deputize you all. Second, I thought I might inspire others to quit, as well. It’s easier if we do it together. Third, if I attempt to bite your head off this week, you know why. And finally, I had to write about something.

'Big Brother' school ID program should bother everyone

I have a love/hate relationship with school districts.   I did when I was a student. I did when I was a reporter. I do as a father of two school-aged children. And I do as a taxpayer.

It seems like not a school year goes by without one school district or another angering me in some way. Fans of my former radio show may recall the problem I had with the “agendas” the kids had to carry around. Or the $100 calculator that every student has to buy.

Today’s issue is ugly. And scary. And is a much bigger deal than a $100 calculator that I can’t afford and my daughter will never use outside of that math class.

Last week, the Starpoint Central School District instituted a policy that will require any visitor to their buildings to present their state-issued identification, which the district will then scan for what they have determined to be pertinent information.

Some members of the community have found fault with this plan, saying it violated their Fourth Amendment rights against unreasonable search and seizure.

The district, however, retorts that all the information they’ll be gleaning from your driver’s license or other form of ID is just public information anyway, so … no harm, no foul.

This argument is nothing but a distant cousin of “If you don’t have anything to hide, why do you care if we search your belongings?”

I care if you search my belongings because they’re mine. And I care if you look at my “public record” because it’s mine. And I don’t think that just because I may have a reason to be in a Starpoint school, that gives the district the right to download my details into their system.

It’s not like people meander the school district’s halls without reason. When you get to most schools, you have to stop in the office and sign in. That seems somewhat reasonable to me. But stopping, signing in and handing over your traffic records seems unnecessary to me.

The district says the new provision is for the safety of its students. Forgive me, but I don’t see how it makes them any safer. Maybe someone could explain to me how it does. Until then, I have to say this is a very slippery slope that I don’t like.

Imagine if in the future, you have to scan your ID at any government building. Or to get into parks. Or at random intersections. How about at government-funded sports arenas? And your information could show up on the JumboTron for everyone to see. After all, it’s all public information, right?

Now, the folks from Starpoint might say I’m being overly dramatic and engaging in hyperbole. But I’d rather we stopped this whole issue of scanning your ID now, before it starts.

The members of the Starpoint Board of Education need to remember that they answer to the taxpayers — and not the other way around.

And people from outside the Starpoint district should not sit back and wait on this issue. If Starpoint gets their way on this, your school district will be next.

Home is family

I met a guy from Pittsburgh on a train a couple weeks ago.

We were both headed to Buffalo's inner harbor on the mostly-useless Metro Rail to see a concert.

I'm not even sure how the fact that he was from Pittsburgh came up, but it did. He had just moved from Pennsylvania to Buffalo a couple weeks prior. And he had already decided he hated it.

I have to assume he moved here for a job. Or a girl. Really that's the only two reasons to move from one area to another – money or love. And I really hoped it was for a girl since the jobs here are scarce enough as they are without people from Pittsburgh moving here to take them.

I was really irritated, though, that someone could move into our fair city and talk trash about it. We Western New Yorkers are aware of our shortcomings. We don't need someone from Pennsylvania pointing them out to us.

Being a Western New Yorker comes with it certain privileges, like the ability to complain about it. And, of course, we do plenty of it.

We spend a large portion of the year complaining about the weather and the snow, but when anyone outside of Buffalo mentions how much snow we get, they become public enemy number one.

Is this disingenuous of us? Or is it just the way things work?

I visited Pittsburgh a few years ago. I was mostly unimpressed. Pittsburgh is Buffalo. It's also Cleveland. It's any struggling northern town, really. Pittsburgh just wants to make it through to the end of the day so it can start over tomorrow in hopes of getting it right.

Really, that's how I view Western New York. We're a collection of people with certain commonalities … including the need to wear mittens four months out of the year … and the desire to just get through the day.

I had considered that maybe because of the similarities between Pittsburgh and Buffalo it's okay that the guy on the train complained. Then I dismissed that thought.

See, it's a family thing. Just as we are allowed to gripe about our own families, but would defend them vigorously to anyone not part of that family … I feel the same about Buffalo. If the guy on the train wanted to complain about his family, so be it, but he was trashing mine.

Maybe it would have irritated me less had he had less valid points. The truth hurts, though.

I've never lived in the City of Buffalo. But that's where I tell people from out of town I'm from. I used to say Niagara Falls, but my world view has grown, apparently. Of course, to anyone from Niagara County, I tell them I'm not from Niagara Falls. I'm from the Town of Niagara. And now I make it a point to tell people I live in the City of Tonawanda. Not N.T. And not the town.

Sure the City of Tonawanda has some flaws. But I'd never let someone from Amherst tell me what they are.

And I'd certainly never let someone from Pennsylvania tell me what Amherst's flaws are. Them's fightin' words.

A return to bread and circus

Some people like to know what's going on in the world. They watch the news, read newspapers and/or talk politics at their local watering hole. I fit into this category. As, mostly likely, do you, seeing as you're reading this column.

There's also a group of people who have no desire to know what's going on – aside from the results from their favorite talent competition TV show produced by Simon Cowell.

Some days I envy that second group of people. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

I read the news today, oh boy. And all did not seem right with the world.

Our bond rating's been downgraded, despite the fact that we reached a last minute deal on the nation's debt limit. Stocks are tumbling because of the bond rating reduction. The price of gold climbed to an all-time high. Eight dead in Ohio. Rampage in London. A helicopter crashed in Afghanistan. And there was a firefight at a funeral in Saudi Arabia.

It seems the world is so surreal at times. All these things can't be happening at once. This must be a trial run for a new song by R.E.M.: “It's really the end of the world this time, we mean it.”

And I'd like to say that I feel fine, but I don't. It's all downright scary.

Maybe you think I'm being over-dramatic about the whole situation. And who knows, maybe I am. But it doesn't seem good, that's for sure.

Meanwhile, back in TV land, the American Idol crowd goes about their life oblivious to the cares of the world. As I said, I'm jealous. I kind of wonder if these world events don't affect them.

If a tree falls in the forest and you're not there to see/hear it, who cares if it makes a sound? But this isn't a tree we're talking about. And we're not in the forest. This is the world economy, seemingly on the brink of crumbling.

It's not like you can ignore the world into being better, right?

Or … could you?

The biggest problems in this country are still economic. And the best way to improve the economy is for us to all spend money. But when times are tough, we hold off on spending money, saving it for a rainy day, which ironically, increases the likelihood of rain.

But if we just pretended everything was alright, and spent all our extra money on concert tickets and football jerseys, that would mean more jobs, which would mean more money, which would mean an improved economic outlook, right?

At least that's my understanding of the economy.

Maybe the Romans were onto something with their bread and circus after all.

Maybe the best thing you can do this weekend is order some takeout and then watch some football at the corner bar.

I'm not sure if it will work or not, but it sounds like it's worth trying. It beats watching the stock market collapse.

The highlights and pitfalls of free concerts in WNY

Western New York might have some deficiencies in the job section, but we have plenty of free entertainment … and we do it right.

I've been to more free concerts in the past few years than I could possibly count.

I've been to Artpark, LaFayette Square, the Buffalo Marina, the Ulrich City Center in Lockport, and the Gateway Marina in Tonawanda. And that's just this year.

This week, I plan on taking my daughters to see Tokyo Police Club in Buffalo and the B-52s in Lockport.

A couple weeks ago, George Clinton played Thursday in the Square. While I was unable to attend that show, I did see George Clinton play the square two years ago. Phenomenal show. Great friends. Great music. Great time. Aside from copious amounts of wacky tobacky wafting through downtown Buffalo, the show went off without incident.

Sunday George Clinton played a show in Ohio. Thousands were in attendance as Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic headlined the eighth annual Unity in the Park festival. But instead of unity, they got mayhem. In fact, one person died and three others were injured after a man fired shots into the crowd.

Buffalo. We might be poor, but we're not stupid and crazy. Could be an ad campaign.

Hey, it's beats “Buffalo, for real,” or whatever the new slogan is.

A couple weeks ago, the Lockport Police Department announced it would be cracking down on concert nights. Not inside the venue, but outside, where the city's teenagers have been congregating, listening to music and being the general annoyance that teenagers can be.

As the father of a teenager, I am fully qualified to make the preceding remark.

Of course, they might be a nuisance, but at least they're not shooting anyone.

And they're not driving home from the concert drunk, unlike apparently everyone who went to see Lynyrd Skynryrd at Artpark last Wednesday. The police scanner sounded like law enforcement had its work cut out for them.

Actually, the biggest problem Western New York has had with its concerts is the politics. And I heard something Friday night that made me absolutely cringe.

Sitting at the back of the venue that is the Ulrich City Center, I heard from the stage, “Don't forget to support Mayor Mike Tucker. Without him, these concerts wouldn't exist.”

While I actually know that that statement is true, it sounded bad and just plain tacky coming from the stage.

These are supposed to be fun nights out for the family. Something to do for those of us whose weekly highlights are the free concerts from bands that (for the most part) haven't made a new album in over a decade.

People like me. People like you.

We just want to listen to music and maybe run into some old friends. Not listen to political propaganda. Political propaganda has no place on a Friday night.

Of course, it beats gunshots.

Memories are better when you share them

With New York's first gay marriage taking place just down the river from our house, how could the kids and I not go? Sure, it was at midnight and yeah, there were a lot of people and a throng of press-types. But this was history in the making. And even more importantly, my girls wanted to go see it happen.

So Saturday evening we piled into the car and headed to Luna Island to watch the state's first gay wedding, taking place at midnight between Kitty Lambert and Cheryle Rudd.

The ceremony itself was somewhat short ... and Niagara Falls Mayor Paul Dyster had to slow down, improvise, wait for applause, and just plain pause just to make sure he didn't get "I now pronounce you legally married" out of his voicebox until after midnight.

And when he did, the crowd roared loudly.

Following the ceremony, the brides talked to the press and mingled with the crowd, many of them strangers to the women, self included. They were gracious and seemed thrilled with the response they received.

There was also a ceremony of hope that the nation's 44 states that don't recognize same-sex marriages would change their tune. My oldest was thrilled that she was one of 22 people who got to take part in that ceremony. It's something she'll never forget.

And really, that's what it's all about for me and my girls. We try to experience life in a way worth remembering. We try to live a life worth remembering.

Earlier Saturday, we had gone to Tonawanda Island and toured the Nina and Pinta. We added them to the other famous boats we'd toured before, including the Amistad and the Mayflower. We joked that all we needed was the Titanic and we'd have all the boats on our checklist.

There is actually a checklist. A bucket list, if you will. It includes the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Kentucky Derby. This weekend, I also added the 2012 Olympics in London to my checklist. I've never been abroad and what better reason to visit Europe than for the Olympics.

In the past few years, we've knocked some pretty major ones off our checklist, including the inauguration of President Barack Obama, which I took my oldest daughter to. I had decided before the election itself that I wanted to go to the inauguration, whether Obama had won or whether it was John McCain. I was particularly happy that Obama won because it meant my daughter wanted to come with me, making the memorable moment that much better. “We were there” is a much more meaningful statement than “I was there.”

We also attended Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, which I surprised the whole family with. My girls will remember that it was cold. But they'll certainly remember it. And I'll remember Punxsutawney, as well as Phil. But moreso, I'll remember being there with my family.

Life is more than about getting through it. It's about making memories with those you love. For me, that means doing things that are different … and doing them with my beautiful daughters.

I hope everyone has someone to make memories with.

Kitty and Cheryle do. And my daughters and I think that's awesome.

Debt compromise needed

Fear is a great motivator. No one knows this better than politicians.

The fear mongering going on in the halls of Congress and the Sunday morning news shows these days is at its absolute peak over the debt limit crisis.

To understand some talk about it, if we don't raise our debt limit, we won't be able pay our bills and the United States may be repossessed by China or whoever it is we owe that $14.3 trillion to.

Listening to the other side, they say the American people have called them directly and begged them not to raise the debt ceiling, for fear of devolving into a socialist state, complete with our own Karl Marx.

Truth is, I've heard very few people discuss the debt ceiling. Maybe you have, but I doubt it. I'd imagine that most of us don't entirely understand it. I know I don't. I have to trust what I read and hear … while trying not to have nightmares about us becoming either the Socialist States of America or the People's Republic of America. I must say that it seems funny, either way we become a communist state. So capitalism lead to communism. Hmmph.

This great red scare that our nation's right wing seems to be promoting just seems laughable to me, quite honestly. I've heard so many people call President Obama a socialist over the past couple years. And all because it's drilled into their heads by the likes of Fox News, talk radio and rapid email alerts.

I have no concerns whatsoever about the president leading us down the trail to communism. No more than I think he's a secret Muslim born in Kenya. Sadly, maybe I should point out that I don't think he's a secret Muslim born in Kenya … since some people do.

Defaulting on our loans, however, that sounds like it has some serious consequences. I know if you go over your credit limit on your credit card … or fail to make a payment, they jack your interest rates up. I don't really want $14 trillion in debt with high interest. That sounds unmanageable.

Of course, to be honest, I don't really want $14 trillion in debt.

It seems to me that a compromise is needed. The debt ceiling must be raised. But the debt also needs to be lowered. Sustaining payments on $14 trillion in debt is just unsustainable. It means we owe $46,000 for every man, woman and child in the country.

That can't stand.

I'd hope that our leaders would raise the debt ceiling while hammering out a plan to reduce long-term debt, so we don't have to have this conversation again next year.

And in the spirit of compromise, I think that everything should be on the table. That includes tax increases, military spending and Social Security. I bet most people my age don't really believe it's going to be there when we retire anyway.

Gay capitalism, part II

As you've seen on these pages before, I have been all-too-happy to champion the acknowledgement of gay marriage in New York State.

This weekend, we ran two stories talking about gay marriage in Niagara County. One dealing with its effect in Niagara Falls and one dealing with its effect outside of the Cataract City.

It appears from those stories that the new nuptials will provide somewhat of an economic boon on the west end of Niagara County, while having little-to-no effect in the rest of the county.

I was happy to see city leaders in Niagara Falls push to make the most out of the new possibilities, something I advocated for in a previous column. There is money to be had here.

The thought of a mass gay marriage in the Falls gives me warm fuzzies. It's always nice to see your point of view validated.

The second story that ran, however, noted that not only is gay marriage not a big deal in the rest of the county, there are at least two businesses that say they will chose to not cater to gay couples in the businesses.

While I find this disappointing, after much reflection, I actually don't have a problem with it.

I'd like to make a disclaimer here that both of the business owners are people I know … and consider friends. But I think I'd feel the same no matter who they were.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think they're decisions are wrong. But they're their decisions to make, even though they're breaking the law.

I've said 1,000 times that I'm more interested in what's right than what's legal. And I have my own code of ethics. Frankly, there are a lot of bad laws out there. And although I don't think the acknowledgement of gay marriage is one of them, I can appreciate those who stand by their convictions in their belief that it is.

There are higher powers to answer to than the state of New York. And if some people feel those higher powers would want them to discriminate against gay couples then so be it.

Personally, I have more respect for someone who disagrees with me out of principle than someone who agrees with me and doesn't know why.

There will be some who will want to challenge non-compliant business owners in court. I, personally, think that's silly. Why would anyone want to give money to a place they're not wanted.

I have – from time to time – been known to make a few enemies. There are certain business owners, for example, that have made it all to clear to me that they'd prefer I stop talking altogether.

Well, considering money talks, I don't say a word to those businesses. I prefer to spend my money at places that more readily accept it. And that's exactly what gay couples will do.

The free market will take care of itself, allowing like-minded people to do business together. Nobody has to do business with someone they find distasteful and everyone thrives.

As I've said before, I don't think the state should be in the business of deciding who can get married. But I think it's perfectly acceptable for business owners to decide whose money they want to take.

Funny thing about that money, though. It's kind of the great equalizer. Most people will take anyone's.  

American ... and proud of it!

It's hard to imagine, but we're more than half way through 2011.

Seems like each year goes by faster than the last. It also seems as though each year is more and more jam-packed with noteworthy items, both personally and in the grand scheme of things.

Like many red-blooded Americans, I've spent the last few days soaking up time with my family. Parks, playgrounds, swimming pools and plenty of good eats have made up my holiday weekend.

I know the founding fathers didn't pick July 4 as their day to tell King George off for convenience sake, but it sure seems to work out for us, doesn't it?

It's nice to have a few days where we put all of our partisanship and bickering aside and just be American. No politics. Just national pride.

Of course, this weekly column thrives on politics. The past couple columns have been quite political — to some. And they've generated a great deal of response. Some of that response has been favorable. Much has been contrary. I appreciate both, quite frankly.

I'm not one of those guys who believes America needs to apologize to the world for looking out for our own best interest. But I'm also not one of those guys who believes that we do no wrong. We may be the best, but that doesn't mean we don't have room to improve.

I can't help but wonder, as I chow down on hot dogs and hamburgers and watch the rockets' red glare, whether the founding fathers would be proud of our accomplishments or aghast at the bumps we have hit in the road.

I'm inclined to think they may be a bit of both.

Keep in mind, their desire to form a more perfect union had bumps of its own. And although we look back 235 years and are in awe at what they did back then, which makes it possible for us to do all that we can do now, remember that they were human beings just like us. As perfect as we are ... which is to say that they weren't.

I'd like to think that each generation of Americans is freer than the last. I'd like to think that each generation of Americans has more opportunities than the last. I'd also like to think that I could fly and travel in time. It's simply not true.

There will be setbacks from time to time. There will be occasions where we look around and say to ourselves, "This isn't how it's supposed to happen."

That's normal. Natural. Ebb and flow.

As long as we recover from those setbacks and always remember to get back to building that more perfect union, we'll continue to thrive. We'll continue to be the best nation in the history of everything.

If you took time out this weekend to pay homage to those who have lost all so you could have all that you have, that's great. If you simply enjoyed the time with your friends and family, that's perfectly OK, too. After all, that's the reason that those who came before us did what they did. So you could live the life you wanted.

We've still got a lot of 2011 before us. Enjoy it. And remember you only get to enjoy it once. So do so to the fullest.

What if we call it gay capitalism?

As I listened to the debate and subsequent vote over the marriage equality act in the New York state Senate on Thursday, I couldn't help but beam with pride as the “yes” votes were cast.

I thought lifting the ban on gay marriage was the right thing for the state to do and I was overwhelmed with emotion that 33 of the state's 62 senators agreed with me.

Yes, I realize that there are many of you out there who disagree and are dismayed at our state Senate. I also realize that this column isn’t going to change your mind. And, to be honest, I’m not one to gloat. But I would like to revel a bit in all the new possibilities.

For one, think of the new revenue streams that same sex weddings can bring into the state. I didn't like this benefit as a reason to pass the bill, but I think it's a great side effect of its passage.

I know we tend to forget what a draw it is, but Niagara Falls – despite its drawbacks – is still a world-class destination for travelers both foreign and domestic. And while I'm pretty sure the ship sailed on it being the “Honeymoon Capital of the World” quite some time ago, there's nothing to say we can't be the gay honeymoon capital of the world.

Same sex couples can get hitched in the Falls, book receptions, motels and spend massive amounts of cash here … on this side of the border. I'm talking about private dollars being spent on private enterprises.

Sad as it may seem, I'm thinking a reality show has got to already be rolling around in someone's head. Maybe they follow a specific couple. Or maybe they follow around a member of the clergy who specializes in gay marriage. I haven't worked the details out in my head yet, but Hollywood's got to be thinking of it.

A reality show based in Niagara Falls would have to mean more tourists, and as such, more revenue for hoteliers, restaurateurs, and the like.

And, like it or not, more weddings will eventually mean more divorces. While I certainly can't get excited about this, I can only imagine that divorce lawyers are licking their chops at the new opportunities.

And not just lawyers, but marriage counselors, psychologists, etc. Yes, the downside of marriage is profitable for some.

Again, these side effect benefits aren't reason enough to support gay marriage, in my opinion, but they might help make the concept more bearable for those of you who opposed the idea.

As for me, I'm just happy that gay couples can join in on the party that the rest of us were invited to … just by having been born straight.

Strangely, Thursday night I sat at my desk, listening to the arguments being made and the votes being cast, overwhelmingly happy for thousands of people I'll never meet.

I hope that those of you who disagree with the concept can set aside that difference and be happy for them, too. And if not, try to figure out a way to make a buck on it.

After all, the only thing more American than equality is capitalism.