Big brother and the vandals

I heard this funny joke the other day.

Guy walks into a beer store ... and wants to get a keg for a party he's holding.

Stop me if you've heard this before ...

And he has to pay a $75 fee for the privilege of having his name tattooed to the keg of beer.

Why aren't you laughing?

Oh yeah, because this isn't a joke. It's real. It's law. And it will happen to you if you go to buy a keg of beer on November 1.

But where did this law come from? Why do we need it? And why didn't we hear about it before now?

All good questions. No good answers.

The acting superintendent of the New York State Police, Wayne Bennett, said the measure will give law enforcement officers the tools to be able to hold people responsible for buying beer for under age drinkers.

Let me set the scenario. Cops bust a party. Find a drunk 19-year-old ... we'll call him Tom. All they have to do is find the keg, which has YOUR name on it. And you get arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Excellent police work, I must say ... Too bad it was done by Consumer's Beverage ... not the police.

Oh, and of course, there is the possibility that Tom got his alcohol "legally" in Canada and came home to pass out ... just when 5-0 rolled up.

You got busted for a crime you didn't commit ... AND a local business helped point the finger ... whether or not they wanted to.

Of course, you could rip the tag off the keg so the cops don't know it's yours.

Unfortunately, if you do that, you won't get your $75 registration fee back ... and your local alcohol purveyor will also have to fine you $250 to $450 when you return the keg ... or if you don't.

In the end, folks this is Big Brother at its worst ... AND they're using business to do their dirty work.

Not that business is without blame, of course.

Just ask the folks over at UnbrandAmerica.org - a service brought to you by AdBusters. They'll tell you that Ronald McDonald founded Fascism, I'm sure of it.

These geniuses have started a "boycott" campaign asking people to put big black dots on corporate logos far and wide ... to show our disgust for said logos and the companies they represent.

There's a black dot that you can download from their web site - print out on paper - and then tape to your logo ... as a statement.

They even have a gallery of dotted logos - to show you how it's done.

Unfortunately (or maybe by design) many of the artifacts in the gallery don't seem to use the print and tape method of dotting. They use spray paint (visible here).

I'm sorry, that's not counter culture. That's vandalism.

And vandalism just isn't cool.

Then, let's look at the dirty dozen - the 12 worst companies ... in the eyes of those who frequent AdBusters.

McDonald's. Exxon. Nike. Wal*Mart. Disney. Coca Cola. Microsoft. The Gap. AOL Time-Warner. Starbucks. Clear Channel. Altria.

For the most part, these companies are guilty of A) Making money and B) Letting people know about it.

I always love the fact that McDonald's has become the poster child of all that is wrong with the world.

Many of you know that I worked for McDonald's for about three years.

I'm proud that I did. Best job I've ever had. And they're the best company I've ever worked for.

But some people - a little more radical than I - believe that the golden arches are the gateway to hell.

And they want to vandalize those arches.

Because somehow - for some reason - people feel bigger when they topple a giant.

What sad little vandals.

Go home and get drunk.

Fun with want ads ...

I think most of you know this by now, but for those who don't ...

I'm no longer employed by Greater Niagara Newspapers and the Lockport Journal.

And as such, I'm out trying to find myself a job - a daunting task for someone with a degree in Journalism and Political Science, and for the most part ... no real talent.

And while I'd like to stay in the media business, it's not like newspapers are drug stores and they're building new ones on every corner. So, it's a bit difficult.

In the mean time, I'm considering other ventures that I'm qualified for. Or at least think I can do.

Some of my skills or abilities include public relations, marketing, management, and other general duties.

And I've often considered a job in public relations ... something more normal than that of a news boy.

So when I found an ad in WNYJobs.com looking for someone to do marketing and public relations in an Amherst firm, I was rather pleased.

But I've seen job ads for "marketing" before and know that it often means "sales," something I'll be the first to admit, I'm none-too-good at.

That's why I called and made sure that it really was a marketing job ... not sales ... before I sent my resume in.

"Well, sir, we do have sales jobs, but we're really looking for someone for marketing and public relations right now," said the woman on the phone. Stephanie was her name.

Excellent - resume went out with the next batch of email.

Next day I got a phone call from Stephanie and scheduled an interview. Went in for the interview and met ... I think his name was Anthony.

• "Hi William, I'm Anthony. How are you today?"
• "Good, yourself?"
• "Excellent. Now, I've been looking at your resume, William. And I notice that it's very journalism heavy. Why, all the sudden do you want to go into sales?"
• (ARGHHHHH!)"No, not sales. Public relations and marketing. Definitely not sales."
• "Well that's a shame, William. Because the job we have is in sales."
• "Then I'm in the wrong interview. Have a good day."

And that was it. Three minutes tops. Shortest interview of my life.

I got a great offer from a national company ... whose name I won't say, but their logo is a bullseye. They wanted me to stock shelves ... for less than I made in high school. Don't think so.

And that company's application process was kind of a pain - all on computer right in the store. Funny questions, too. I highly recommend the experience.

Oh, but my new favorite was the application I put in at a local grocery store ... not one in Lockport, though. (that almost narrows it down, doesn't it?).

Anyway, there was a question on the job application that said, "Type of job desired."

What the heck does that mean? I put "Fun and exciting," although I don't think that's the answer they wanted. Who designs these things?

And why do these job applications want to know what elementary school you went to? And they always ask if you graduated. Who didn't graduate elementary school?

I tell you, it's a truly frustrating process.

I have one VERY good lead (I think) and a few other positive notes on some jobs that I wouldn't hate doing.

So for those of you pulling for me (I have gotten some emails from people who want to see me do well), thank you.

I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Oh, and would you like fries with that?