Taking joy in watching King James be dethroned

Growing up a Bills and Sabres fan, I've never had the opportunity to see my team win it all. And seldom do I even get to see my team in the big game. Sure there was that nice little stint in the 90s with the Bills, but for the most part, I find myself watching two teams I could care less about.

Certain life circumstances have caused me to follow baseball and basketball, too. In typical fashion, I've chosen loser teams in those sports as well. In baseball, it's the Washington Nationals. And on the hard court, it's the New York Knicks. So again, come the end of the season, I'm watching two teams I don't care about and usually, I decide to root for the team I dislike less.

Almost always, though, I'm rooting for a team instead of against a team. There are exceptions, however, as was the case in this year's NBA Finals. I have no love for the Dallas Mavericks. But an intense dislike – I'll stop short of saying hatred – of the Miami Heat.

Truth is, I only started watching basketball – even casually – a couple of years ago. And it was basically against my will. But I watched. And grew to not hate it. I moved over to full-fledged liking last year when I was taken to a Knicks game at Madison Square. Seeing the game up close and in person in one of the world's greatest arenas gave me an appreciation I previously lacked.

I watched with great interest last summer as “The Decision” played out on live TV. Any basketball fan knows what I'm talking about, but for the majority of you who likely don't, it was a live television special in which Cleveland Cavaliers all-star LeBron James announced he'd be leaving his hometown team and hightailing it to Miami in order to win a championship.

As a former Clevelander, I felt bad for my friends who still lived there and were fans of the Cavs. Surely, for them, they felt deserted by “King James.” He left his fans in search of a championship ring. Understandable, I suppose, but it was just another blow for Cleveland, who in so many ways is just like Buffalo.

So it was with great intensity that I watched the NBA playoffs this year, hoping to see LeBron James get his comeuppance. Surely, God would not reward a traitor such as him.

With the Knicks knocked out in the first round, my only real pleasure could come from Miami losing. But rounds came and went and Miami was still in it, besting Philadelphia, Boston and Chicago to make it to the Finals. And I got nervous.

In the end teamwork and true character won out over talent and ego.

Watching Miami lose game six to Dallas wasn't nearly as enjoyable as it would have been to watch the Sabres win a Stanley Cup. But it was pleasurable, nonetheless.

Sometimes life's grand pleasures escape you and you have to enjoy the little ones all that much more.

For right now, schadenfreude will have to do.  

The circle of (food) life ...

I’ve gone through periods of my life where I eat very healthy. Those periods, however, are the exception — not the norm.

I grew up with four food groups, where things were “part of a complete diet,” or something like that. It was the nutritional standard from 1956 until 1992. There was meat, dairy, grains and fruit. Pretty simple. Even I could understand it.

But the year I left for college, the USDA went and gummed up the works, trading four food groups in for a food pyramid consisting of grains, fruits, veggies, dairy, meats and sweets.

This mattered none, however, because the college I went to had the best food. Seriously. And it was all you could eat, so I couldn’t care less what step of the food pyramid it was on.

After graduation, we were lucky enough to have money to afford food at all. And quickly thereafter there were only two food groups: Baby food and adult food.

The whole food pyramid was kind of complex, in my opinion. And never really caught on. It certainly didn’t in my household.

Actually, my household is an anomaly. I’ve joked with my kids for years that just about everything is good for you. For example, “Coffee’s good for you. It’s got vitamin C in it. The C stands for coffee.” Likewise, bubblegum has vitamin B in it, and so on.

Fortunately, my kids are smarter than me and ignore me when I say stupid things like that.
In 2005, the food pyramid got revamped into “my pyramid,” with the same basic info, but presented in a manner which was much less easily digestible. It was like the government didn’t want us to understand nutrition.

Last week, they ditched the pyramid altogether, thankfully, replacing it with “my plate,” which looks a whole lot like a pie chart. But don’t call it a pie chart. You’ll upset the USDA. Plus, pie is not a food group ... even if I think it should be. It’s got vitamin P, you know?

My plate shows that about half of what you eat should be fruits and veggies, with a slightly higher percentage being veggies. The other half should be grains and proteins, with again a higher percentage being grains. And then off on the side, there’s a separate circle for dairy. So we’re almost back to the four food groups, except they gave fruits and veggies each their own group. It’s five food groups. It’s much easier to understand than a food pyramid, that’s for sure. Maybe food pyramids would make sense in Egypt ... or parts of South America.

But this is America where everyone knows that circle gets the square.

For the life of me, I don’t understand why food doesn’t just come color coded at the grocery store. Green label means you can eat as much as you want (veggies, for example). Yellow label means eat in moderation (red meat, for example). And red label means eat very sparingly (Snickers bars). I mean, really, could it get more simple?

Well, sure it could. We could eat all of our meals through a straw like in the movie “Wall-E.” But that didn’t go so well for them.